Stranger Things Rugby Roster: Explained

I started to try and make this into an Instagram reel, but I have way too many thoughts that I couldn't condense it. I could do an entire Powerpoint presentation about this 🤣, and this isn't even the first fictional rugby lineup I've fully written out.

BUT ANYWAYS, I DIGRESS.

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE'S THE ROSTER ANNOUNCEMENT FOR BOTH SIDES.

Hawkins Rugby Football Club STARTERS

Loosehead Prop: Jim Hopper

FORWARDS CAPTAIN

• Can handle shady tactics because he has shady tactics himself - he'll disregard the rules to get the job done.
  

• Leadership skills as the Chief of Police, and as the father of a teenage daughter. Can keep unruly forwards in line.
  

• Has ZERO regard for his own well being...in the best way. He'll take whatever beating he needs to.

Hooker: Bob Newby...Superhero

• Absolute heart of gold who would put his life on the line for anyone he cares about. Great attitude and doesn't get flustered easily.
  

• Literally no ego, will do whatever thankless/non-glamorous job you need him to.
  

• Can solve problems even when he's confused. He doesn't need all his questions answered to figure out patterns and structures, he enjoys the challenge.

Tighthead Prop: Benny Hammond

• This guy is obviously a powerhouse and an absolute workhorse - he's running his own business without even batting an eye.
  

• Even with a million responsibilities he's still willing to go out of his way to support others. Very strong and stable presence.
  

• He'll be able to #feedtheforwards because he's got cooking skills

Lock: Jonathan Byers

• Solid height, would also be a good jumper. Not the biggest or strongest but has a steady engine that doesn't stop. Very reliable.
  

• No need for the spotlight, willing to support everyone else and be a quiet leader. Quietly does what needs to be done, no questions asked.

• Patient and observant, which is especially useful in lineouts. Would be able to time a lineout jump very well.

Lock: Robin Buckley

• Also has some solid height. Not the most coordinated but she's got energy and grit for DAYS.
  

• Embraces chaos and mistakes, can handle both with ease. She may trip over her own feet but she'll recover quickly.
  

• CONSTANTLY talking, so you'll know where she is at all times whether you like it or not.

Strong Side Flanker: Billy Hargrove

• "Isn't he a villain?" you say? He's not the most likable [to say the least....] but at the end of the day he literally saved everyone at his own expense.
  

• Absolutely batshit crazy and completely reckless. Would run full steam ahead at a flaming Vecna without hesitation.
  

Works out like a maniac, and not only would he make tackles on any size or creature but they would also pack a punch.

Weak Side Flanker: Joyce Byers

• RELENTLESS in her support, and won't stop no matter how many people call her crazy.
  

• Assertive and an advocate, will do whatever it takes to continue to move forward. Doesn't like to sit back and wait.
  

• Another person that has literally no ego and doesn't need the spotlight. She doesn't even care if she's the town loony.

Eightman: Steve Harrington

• Athletic with a variety of skills. Can take a hit [or twenty...] and still get back up every time. This man is like a cockroach - he never dies [and hopefully never will!].
  

• Has no problem [well maybe a little bit of an annoyance but not a problem] "herding cats" - he's a team player and a leader at the same time
  

• Very protective, especially when under pressure. Will jump in head first to support anyone.

Scrumhalf: Mike Wheeler

• He'll tell people off and has no problem being honest. Strategic and a good communicator, even if he's annoying sometimes.
  

• Can give a good pep talk and see someone's strengths even when they can't see their own.
  

• Again, even though he's annoying sometimes, people listen to him and he has leadership abilities.

Flyhalf: Kali Prasad

• MAN can this girl give directions and lead people under pressure cool as a cucumber.
  

• Can see and literally create gaps, will confuse the heck out of the defense with her abilities.
  

• Confident in herself and others. She believes in people, even ones that society ignores and ones she doesn't know well. A leader of misfits is a leader of ruggers!

Wing: Will Byers

• You don't always know he's there but...he's always there. Also very aware of the opponent's whereabouts.
  

• Clearly able to sprint - out ran a demogorgon as a CHILD. He's very nimble and able to find space [to hide in, survive in, etc.]
  

• Either a liability or saves the day, no in between 🤣. Either way he's critically important when you need him, it's just a matter of if he's going to crush it or crumble.

Inside Center: Eddie Munson

• This might seem like a questionable choice, especially with who he's matched up against........but this man LOVES being a decoy. Could probably run a dummy switch or blockers line like no other. He's also LOUD and expressive, and his D+D experience can make him very strategic.
  

• He's got endurance and can take a hit. He was avoidant at first but I believe with his newfound confidence against the demobats he'll grow!

Outside Center: Max Mayfield

• She's got EXPLOSIVE acceleration and is an evasive runner - literally dodged massive falling objects while trudging through bloody mud [?].
  

• She's aggressive and has spatial awareness, will be a good connector to the edge [especially with Lucas on the wing].
  

• Superior Dig Dug skills = good hand/eye coordination, so she probably would have a good pass and know when to use it.

Wing: Lucas Sinclair

• He's not hesitant or quiet, so he'll certainly sound the alarm when he's got open space and wants the ball. Lucas has that “give me the ball, I’ll make it happen” instinct without being selfish.
  

• Basketball background gives him experience in spatial awareness and change of pace. He's also clearly athletic and has endurance.
  

• I get the vibe that he's a winger who wouldn't be afraid to "do the dirty work" - he'll hit a ruck or help make a big hit when needed.

Fullback: Eleven

BACKS CAPTAIN

• CLUTCH AF. Thrives under pressure, literally wants to make you pay for it. Her counterattack would be off the charts.
  

• Everywhere and anywhere all at once. Bursts of energy and explosiveness. Mental toughness for days.
  

• Can place kicks wherever the heck she wants with her telekinesis, whether it's slotting a kick right into the perfect gap or making a grubber pop up in your face at the worst possible moment.

Hawkins Rugby Football Club FINISHERS

Argyle

• Here for a good time not a long time.
  

• Gets flustered but once he's in the groove he's good. Even under pressure he's still able to move forward.
  

• Could provide some good support especially as a lock.
  

• Can definitely give the team moral support and good vibes all around.

Honestly...it's a toss up. I was close to cutting him 😅

Dustin Hoffman

• Great sense of direction, would be a great lineout thrower
  

• Attention to detail and analytical, I could see his timing and intelligence making him a lethal hooker
  

• Has a good attitude but also not afraid to speak up when he has something to contribute

Erica Sinclair

• Ruthless and fearless are a LETHAL combination
  

• She may have a hard time listening to leadership but she responds well to logic so if it makes sense to her she'll be on board for whatever direction you give her
  

• She [almost] outran a Varsity basketball player and STILL beat him in a fight

Derek Turnbow

• ROOKIE OF THE YEAR, WILL BE A STAR SOMEDAY.
  

• Got a voice and ain't afraid to use it
  

• Will truck through everyone and anyone even if it's someone's mom
  

• LITERALLY HELD OFF THREE FULL GROWN ARMY MEMBERS, HE COULD LOCK DOWN A SCRUM ALL-FREAKIN'-DAY

Suzie Bingham

• She was almost my starting flyhalf but still has some work to do with vocalizing directives and leading others. She completely abandoned her older sister with her chaotic younger siblings without hesitation.
  

• Still, there's no doubting this queen's knowledge and abilities. People literally flock to her for answers, BEG for her smarts to save them, and she always does!

Karen Wheeler

• Relentless in her support for her children. She sometimes has a hard time keeping track of them but she'll still set boundaries and do what's best for them.
  

• Heavens to Betsy she'll provide the best ruck support west of the Mississippi to keep the upside down from laying a hand on her children.

Nancy Wheeler

• Sharp shooter with great accuracy, would probably have a good pass [and maybe even a good kick]
  

• She's a "doer" - she wants to get things done and stay active, and wants others around her to do the same
  

• Very influential over at least two forwards on the field....lol

Murray Bauman

• HELLOOOOO he's a black belt and makes a great risotto, enough said.
  

• Can trash talk in English AND Russian, will give unlimited emotional momentum
  

• Conspiracy theorist and codebreaker, would dissect everything the Upside Down did tactically and use it against them