A little epiphany about an epiphany.

This quote in particular from my almost 15 year old post warmed my heart 🥹

"I'll be able to play rugby for the rest of my life if I want to! There are tons of friendly rugby clubs out there that take anyone!.....at least I hope so."

BOY OH BOY THERE SURE ARE!

There's also part of me that looks back at this post and wants to kick myself 🤣

My stupid blissfully unaware 20 year old self just did NOT understand the concept of "working smarter not harder." I did not know the benefits of just doing sprints or varying types of workouts...or even just RESTING! There's a benefit and NEED to rest and recovery! Boy oh boy never did I ever use a heating pad, ice bath, foam roller, or even an extra stretch.

So YOUTHS OF RUGBY - BE SMARTER THAN I WAS! Your body really is a temple, it will CRUMBLE and not do what you want it to if all you do is demand from it and not give anything back to it. You're a living being for crying out loud! You have other muscles that need workin', other skills that need improvin', and a body that needs fuelin'.

September 8th, 2010

Boy did I learn a lesson today: it's up to no one else but you how much you run in a day or how hard you train yourself for rugby. After practice today I was upset that we didn't do as much running as I wanted to, not even close to enough, and I felt super angry about it and thought I wasted a day without running. But then I realized, "Hey...so what if we didn't do running at practice? Why don't I just go running right now?!" which is precisely what I did! After pouting in my house for about 30 seconds, I threw on my sneakers and ran about 3 and a half miles. Unfortunately, once my work load begins to grow, I don't know if I'll still have the time to be able to do that, but every little thing counts. Those 3 and a half miles are under my belt, and it's a little but important step towards being a better rugby player!

I'm proud of myself for never giving up, but I just don't know how long it will last....to be honest, I keep surprising myself with how dedicated I am to rugby. There have been many many times, even including now, where I've thought to myself, "What's the POINT?! I'm NEVER going to be exceptional at rugby, and I'm never going to get any better than I am right now. It's just not in the cards for me," and I've really been at my lowest and inches away from collapsing and giving up on the sport all together. But for some reason, I don't know where I find the strength to consistently pull myself out of some the darkest thoughts and drag myself back onto the treadmill or onto the field to practice everything and anything that has to do with rugby all by myself. I guess I just truly love the sport that much, and maybe my doubts and things that I get upset about are a bit selfish. I may just be a little too competitive! I just always need to remember - I'll be able to play rugby for the rest of my life if I want to! There are tons of friendly rugby clubs out there that take anyone!.....at least I hope so.